Being after the point of telling the world, but before the point the hard work matters.
I don’t think it’s a stretch for anyone to see that I am smack dab in the gray zone that is the ugly middle right now. The chapters 3-8 part of the 10 chapter book (and I am just on chapter 3).
This weird stretch of time with no end in sight is the part no one talks about but that I am starting to experience in real time. Mostly because it sucks, and it’s boring, you feel like a loser a little bit, and that doesn’t make for good conversation. Yet here I am.
It’s easy to hear about beginnings; the shiny social media and website reveals, the “big announcement” energy and the fresh starts. To hear about the plans before the action really happens.
On the flip side, you hear about the wins: sold-out launches, booked-out services, big partnerships, big press hits, viral moments, billboards with their faces on them, and truly anything with excitement attached that you can say congratulations to.
But this middle part? The part where I’ve already told everyone I’m doing it, but I haven’t yet built anything that proves it was worth it? Yeah. That part has been QUIET. And messy. And weird. And lonely. And a little cringey.
In case you were wondering, this is the part where I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I’ve made a mistake with my life decisions, only to wake up in the morning to work my tush off while really excited about everything I get to do (not need to do – GET to do). It’s where confidence and self-doubt are taking turns like they’re on a work schedule together, day shift/night shift. Where my to-do list is full of things I’ve never done before, and checking off one thing sometimes makes five more appear. Where I feel guilty saying no to a friend for something knowing that I am the only person holding myself accountable right now and I have an overwhelming amount of work I’ve put on my own plate.
It’s where working really hard can’t point to much yet. Where my parents ask what I am even doing because they don’t understand what I am even doing. Not in the “I sold out my line!” or in a “look at this polished, perfect product and packaging” kind of way. It’s more like, “If you follow me on socials you will see it come together over time, and that I can’t answer that question yet because I am still working on it” kind of way.
The ugly middle, so far, has been a time where I look around and see other people who are further ahead, and I forget that even though they never shared it, they had to be in this ugly middle part too. That they had their version of this: half-built websites, products still in secret sample form, followers who weren’t engaging yet, friends who smiled supportively but didn’t really get the full picture. That just like me they had a chapter of putting themselves out on full display for others to view and judge and there was zero path to a resolution or win.
This is why in my current season, every little moment of encouragement I’ve receive I’ve eaten up like dinner, because it’s feeding my soul that needs reminding that I am not totally delulu.
The ugly middle is ugly because it’s all inner work. It’s you against your own mind. Its you showing up each day when there’s no clear payoff, payday, and when you have no idea what you are doing but believing that the same God who gave you the business idea will give you the clients / awareness / customers / partnerships / name your thing.
It’s having to become a content creator even though you just want to own a small business. It’s then pouring your hours into making content that barely gets seen.
This is where I’m learning discipline—not the flashy kind, but the quiet kind. At the beginning of 2025 I claimed out to the universe that my word of the year would be discipline and boy has that. been. true! Discipline that shows up with me at the gym in the morning when I’d rather be in bed doom-scrolling. The discipline that hits “publish” on something imperfect that in my mind is not good enough but that I have to work with. The discipline that takes the next step without knowing if there’s even a guaranteed outcome.
It reminds me of the saying “I asked God for blooming flowers so he gave me rain and seeds”. In my case, I asked God for a successful business so he gave me opportunities to use my time wisely, access to people and support via the internet, prayer, an understanding supportive husband and moments to hone that discipline.
If I’m honest, I low key hate this part. I told my friends recently that it’s like wanting to be on step 80 but being on step 4.
But also… I kind of love it?? Just maybe a tiny tiny amount. Or maybe not even love but finding joy in it?
There’s something pure about the ugly middle.
Quick side note — I think there’s a sacredness in building before anyone cares. In working on something while it’s still mostly yours. In pushing through, not because the world is clapping, but because you know this matters.
And you know it matters so much so that you are prioritizing not losing track of what’s already been done. Because even if it doesn’t look like much from the outside, you’ve done a lot. Ideas were born. Plans were made and executed each day or week. Fears were confronted. New skills attempted. Steps forward.
So yes, while in total honesty, there are absolutely moments where I sit on the floor of my loft office, surrounded by to-dos and notes and half-finished ideas, and I wonder if I’m delusional. Like, what if none of this works? What if it never becomes what I believe it could be?
Its often at these moments that something small continues to happen—a kind message, a spark of clarity, a tiny win that no one else would even notice—and its all I need to remind me: Oh yeah, thats right. I’m not crazy. I’m just in the ugly middle. And I’ve been here before, in different ways. And I’ll be here again in other ways. That every good thing in my life has passed through a version of this middle.
So while this isn’t even REMOTELY close to the success story yet that I hope it one day is, it’s the part that will one day make the story believable. It’s the plot thickened part of the book that helps make the whole story come together and unforgettable.
I don’t have a big takeaway or a list of tips. I just wanted to tell the truth. And maybe you’re that someone else who needed to hear it too.